Jan 2010 29
With a rather tied up (not in a literal sense) Head of Security Norman Bush otherwise engaged, Steve Jones and his secure security partner Phil Sparks (Sparksy) were hired to ensure that this private function in an otherwise busy posh bar/restaurant stayed exactly that – private, to Talisman Group (no idea what they do) employees in an expensive part of London. Being so close to the airport of Heathrow it was crucial that  were there to get everyone in and metal detected! I think their OTT procedures would not have gone amiss in Terminal 5! Once all sixty or so guests were safely in, Stevo and Sparksy’s comedy meet and greet job was done. What the guests witnessed during their meal was the usual pure comedy and classic chaos gold. The lousy Aussie waiters of Daryl and Dave treated the tables to an alternative exhibition in customer service that left the room baffled, bemused and asking the booker (Kali) if they were real or not? Remember, seeing is believing. The alternative instrumental lounge band of Tony Salt and Mike Pepper (With Condiments) brought the ‘hired chaos’ to an end during the deserts, with laughs and a few groans aimed towards the not so musical , musical duo. They should be used to it by now! Everyone had a great night. Being ‘had’ by the chaos characters is an experience that will leave anyone not just with a great talking point throughout the evening, but for some time after. Here’s what the booker said: I just wanted to say a huge thank you to the boys that entertained us all on Friday; I speak for everyone when I say that they were so funny, witty and hilarious. In a professional capacity they were friendly, accommodating and great all round guys.  So many people believed them as security guards and waiters. I told people that we needed to have security as we were so close to the airport and it was one of the conditions for hiring out the venue ( I suggested to one of the guards that hand stamping should be introduced for people going out and coming back in, with weird stamps????)!!!! People also asked if the waiters were for ‘real’ I explained that the   venue manager struggled to get cover on the night!!! The most asked question of the evening was ‘Why is the waiter called Naomi and why does it say Holiday Inn on his badge?’ Just brilliant. The lounge singers brought on a few groans. All in all there was a good time had by all.

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